Heartbreak: lost love: Lesbian First-time Virgin High School Romance Novella by Evangeline Mistral

Author:Evangeline Mistral [Mistral, Evangeline]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2023-06-12T14:00:00+00:00

Chapter 4:

Can Suzanne find a way to forgive herself?

Over the next several weeks, Colby played a much bigger part in Suzanne's life. Not only did she help Suzanne find a therapist, she made sure that there were no missed appointments. Having lunch together became a regular part of the day. While it wasn't every day, Colby had dinner with Suzanne frequently enough that she was sure that Suzanne was eating healthier. The slide in her weight stopped and started to reverse.

As much as she wanted to, Colby didn't ask Suzanne about her therapist appointments. It was intensely personal and if Suzanne wasn't going to bring it up, Colby wasn't going to either. It was good enough that Suzanne was taking the steps. Sometimes she seemed less depressed, but it was not consistent. There were bad days too, when in the evening Colby held Suzanne as she cried.

At work, Suzanne was too busy for the emotions to surface. Armed with the information collected on their trip back east, she had guided the new software through its final release. The launch consumed Suzanne, but she welcomed it. There was not enough time in the day to get everything done, but at least it left very little opportunity to dwell on her problems. It made it easy to keep up the illusion that she had it all together. Colby was the only one who knew her secrets, and she was an active participant in helping to hide them.

Without Colby's support, Suzanne knew she couldn't have managed to keep going. When she intervened, Suzanne was close to the breaking point. Handling the stress from the launch combined with her issues would have been too much. It wasn't just the mental stress either. The mistreatment of her body was just as bad. After a few weeks with her therapist, Suzanne was finally seeing that. The awareness only helped so much. There were still days when she didn't feel like eating, but Colby was always there to make sure she did. While there were moments when Suzanne resented it, the gentle pressure felt good most of the time. It was one of the few things in her life that made her feel loved.

Still, feeling loved didn't help Suzanne with feeling worthy of love. The self-destructive impulses were getting fewer, but it was hard to find a way to forgive herself for what happened with Chloe. They did not happen as often, but there were still nights when she woke up in the middle of the night haunted by a dream of Chloe. Sometimes as she bolted upright in a cold sweat, her first thought was a wish that Colby was there to hold her. A feeling of shame always followed it. Part of why was a renewed feeling of betraying Chloe, but the other half was knowing that she wasn't worthy of Colby.

Suzanne wasn't blind. She knew how Colby felt about her. Sometimes when Colby held her, Suzanne felt her struggle to hold back from taking it a step further.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.